So you think this is an open door, for you to swing in and out of?
You come back here with your angel-faced quiet smile, fair hair and green eyes. Catlike. You creep in. You storm in. You plead in. You don’t care how, but you want in. It’s never mattered has it, that the fucking door has hinges that might need oiling?
The door is shut. Sorry sir. The door is shut. Temporarily out of service.
The door is shut.
But you don’t need to break it down do you? You think it’ll crumble anyway.
Bastard, he calls himself.
The loving bastard.
Open up bitch. I’ll bust your head if you don’t. I’ll bust your head anyway.
Shut your face bitch, or I’ll shut it for you.
Mummy. Why does this man hit you?
Mummy we don’t like this man.
Mummy, wake up…
Hush baby hush
Don’t say a word
Mama’s going to buy you
If the mockingbird don’t sing…
Then daddy’s going to bust mummy
Cause the fucking kids won’t shut up.
SHUT UP BITCH.
Or say goodbye. Don’t just stand there. Silently.
Don’t go about your business like I don’t exist. I’ve made you your tea, washed your clothes, cooked your dinner for the last thirty-three years. We have children together, for god’s sake.
I’ve waited for you nights, sleepless and drained with fear; till the door would click open and I could shut my eyes finally. I’ve kept daylong fasts for you. No food no water. Not till I beheld your face through a silver sieve.
I’ve prayed for you. I’ve loved you. Perhaps… perhaps I still do.
Don’t just sit there quietly.
Or say goodbye.