Thursday, March 22, 2007

Thinker Me and Other Awardees

All right then creatures of the world wide web [girls, boys and the rest of us].

It’s that time of the season when I announce yet another bloodbath, featuring Right-Brain-of-H and Left-Brain-of-H.

You see, Prom bwoy just told me two days ago [and I hope he didn’t do so out of sympathy, thinking that I was ready to jump off some mattress and end my brain] that he thought I was one of the top five thinking bloggers on his list.

[______________________ ]

Two minutes – tick-tick 1 tick-tick 2... tick-tick 120 – of silence to take this gargantuan thought in.




Now Right-Brain-of-H, being smaller, faster, lighter has risen from the molasses to claim all ‘right’s [she has this way of getting ever so slightly tiresome with this constant cheap wordplay] to this award. The Left, pissy as she always is, ruler of my personality and root cause of my consequent and perennial pissiness has decided to kick Right-Brain-of-H’s arse, being larger, lumpier, denser, because she feels ‘left’ out [gaaaaaaaawwwrrrrrsh, will someone shut Right-Brain up for a bit?]

The ache [not H] on the whole is truly excruciating as it leaves me little energy and space to think. Which, as you will point out, defeats the purpose.

Anyhow, let me not whinge on about my personal little hellhole. I’ll let you marvel at my brain and blog a little later, for now, allow me to lead you through my magnificent speech of gratitude, acknowledging one and all generously in my Oscar moment.

***

The rules of the game are:

1. If, and only if, you get tagged, write a post with links to 5 blogs that make you think.

2. Link to the original post so that people can easily find the exact origin of the meme.
3. Optional: Proudly display the 'Thinking Blogger Award' with a link to the post that you wrote (here is an alternative
silver version if gold doesn't fit your blog).

The truth is that I find myself thinking about EVERY blog that I come across; unless of course it’s one of those, get a free porche, laptop and bigger penis sites that offer you a sunny holiday with your favourite playmate on the side for that extra throw-in [and, why are ALL of them directed only at men?] Of course this proves one thing that all of us already know by now – that I am an incredibly thinking person; but, it would be unfair to say that only five of the several blogs I visit are worthy. Because truly, ALL the blogs I visit are wonderful windows to a wider world [what an alliteration!] – one that I would never get to see, if it weren’t for the existence of Blog. Heck I don’t even know what goes on in my mother’s mind, but I can tell you exactly the kind of girl who’d be suitable for my little Ben. [A much much younger H, if you’re asking – Ben, next life, okay?]

However. Since the rules say 5 and this is my first set-of-rules-to-follow, I will behave. [When I have twenty-one such plaques on my side-banner, I shall haughtily and fashionably boycott awards.]

But for now, here goes:

1.) Ads Of The World – A site that is run by Ivan who posts all sorts of ads from around the world. Ivan, through the blog, forum and painstakingly collected archive on his site, exudes the kind of love for advertising that only a true believer could. His humility, even temper, commitment and passion for the medium are truly inspiring because he’s the sort of person who gives advertising a glowingly haloed name.

2.) India Uncut – Which offers a completely irreverent and often fascinatingly relevant look at odd [and sometimes not-so-odd] bits of news in India and the rest of the world. Amit Verma, the very prolific writer of this blog [now recently shifted to its very own and proper dotcom site (for lack of a more appropriate and technical term)] has a keen wit which he employs with ruthless and delicious wickedness in all his posts.

3.) Old Spice Is Nice – where do I begin with this one? I’ve written out the rest of the post to come back to Ben. His spellings can sometimes cause heartburn, but this boy has a mind of gold. Whether it’s his posts about the arsey little gnome Hafrank or his stories and poems or just simply his posts about something that’s outraged his senses, Ben expresses an understanding of the world that is both beautifully naïve and gentle in its hope for humankind and interestingly mature for his age. And none of this emerges in pretentiously ‘thoughtful’ words strung together in ponderous posts, but through his wonderful talent for the bizarre. I really like reading this writer. He makes me believe that there’s hope for all of us.

4.) What Am I – Pricky, who has a very odd penname for a sensitive and promising young man, is a student of journalism in London. Originally from Bangalore [I think] his blog is as much about his experiences as an Indian abroad as it is about his views on current events across the world. What I really like about him is that though he does express views that concur generally with a more tolerant and ‘correct’ perspective on world politics as a journalist, his concerns don’t stop there. He expresses a very genuine and pertinent kind of angst that seems to lead him towards seeking positive and affirmative solutions, relentlessly. He hasn’t found them yet, but I know that if he continues in this vein and refuses to let this part of his mind get dulled by the act of surviving in the real world, he’s going to be brilliant. He’s the sort of ‘pesky’ reporter who isn’t just going to stop at asking the questions, he’s going to find the bloody answers as well.

5.) What’s Up Delhi – for the kind of things they choose to write about and what they link it all to, eventually [which is never one thing, in case you’re wondering]. Written by a bunch of intrepid adventurers with the funkiest (in a good way) names who bring out the best magazine there is in all of Delhi, they can tell you anything [I mean anything] you want to know about this city. But what really fascinates me about them is that they are actually able to find things to love about Delhi, and express it convincingly. [Wow.] Well this is their informal space where they choose to be irreverent about spelling, grammar and narrative as an act of defiance towards the very anal world of publishing; and yet, through this blog, it’s evident that even in their spare time they don’t seem to get enough of writing.

***
But now that I’ve told you about the official list of five, here’s my other, equally, if not more exciting list of everyday blog-diet that I just can’t do without. It’s the sort of hunger that makes me go all dull-eyed and listless if it isn’t appeased. These are the blogs that feel like home to my very scatty head [Bravo! Now blow your nose, wipe your eyes and get on with it H]

I Am Woman, See Me Blog – Lizza is the humblest, most generous, warm-funny-thoughtful sashaying-down-blog-red-carpet blogger I’ve had the fortune of coming across because from the moment I read her [a very very scandalous post about greying hair – we won’t reveal where] I’ve been hooked to her blog. It’s like meeting a more-at-ease version of the person you think you are [or at least hope for others to perceive you as] who says the things you want to say, just the way you’d like to say them, about the things you’d like to talk about; even when she’s responding to memes! Now that is an accomplishment. She’s not on my list because she’s already taken. [I mean listed.]

Prometheus writer of the formidable Moving [Middle] Finger that Writes; oh what a mighty pen he has! But enough. No more withering puns will you find here [I almost promise]. Prometheus, you would’ve been one of the chosen 5, but for that you’re the one who chose me [which in itself is an honour fattened on ghee]. But, as The Sibling says “Prometheus is seriously witty”, which is the most genuine, glowing, gargantuan compliment anyone can give anyone in my book. And to add honey to the pudding [or shakkar to the ghee, as Prometheus will undoubtedly appreciate] I, H, agree wholeheartedly.

Entropy - Design of Decadence [which was once, more charmingly called Kalyug Chronicles] – because it is my first blog [which is a nauseous pun on ‘first love’ in case you didn’t get]. It has the fine distinction of being the first blog I ever read, followed and admired. It’s special to me in the way that one’s first diary is. In fact its writer N.G. happens to be the one who inspired me to blog, and will always have his own special little corner in my head, despite all arsey-slappable arguments about the popularity and saleability of Shah Rukh Khan.

My life with D (The Houseband Chronicles) – A warm wistful-hopeful blog about an extra-large-&-warm-with-a-honey-topping-hug-sized, dimpled Super-Parent, who saves the world and cooks great dinners for his nine year old son D during the day; builds and designs houses for a living in his civilian life; and blogs about love, life and music in his spare time. It’s here that he comes to unwind and reveal his more vulnerable side, once he’s put aside his Super-Dad Cape and Lycra Super-Undies [Wait. This sounded a little… inappropriate? But you do know what I mean, right?]

Pinay in Barnsley – Who is the sassiest, mouthiest, funniest Barnsleyian I’ve read on the net. Well ok, all right. She’s the only one. But. That doesn’t take away from the fact that I love going over to her site to read about the latest in Barnsleyian fine dining and such.

AussiesNan – who seems to have disappeared, but is still a topper on my list for her endless good cheer, her ability to see the silver lining in just about any situation, and her bottomless well of patience with, and encouragement to all imbeciles aged anywhere between 5 and 80 [a sufficiently misleading bracket to protect me for a long time to come].

RazorBlade Dreams – the writer of which could’ve been my twin, because A – he’s as scatological as someone we know & B – he’s a home soul & conqueror, just like someone we know. I love reading his mouthy, impertinent, sarcastic and often darkly poetic posts on just about anything. He reminds me of someone when he rates his midnight chai-suttas [tea & cigarettes for the uninitiated] as the best thing in the whole wide world. Sigh. Little boys.

And finally, I must mention the most recently discovered, astonishingly absorbing, numbingly beautiful and seductively lyrical writing of Migs in his absolutely delicious blog – Witness Lane that I chanced upon through Lizza’s list of 5 [because of which I can’t cite his blog on my list, where he’d have definitely featured.]

***

So, after thanking my Ma, my Pa and The Sibling on your behalves for bringing me into this world and nurturing me with only the most excellent ingredients that constitute human endeavour, I shall now plunge right back into my super-exciting, arse-busting existence in the real world where I fight demons and their daddies with my easy wit, fine good looks, and oozy charm.

Kisses and hugs.
Love me [it’s an order].


30 comments:

houseband00 said...

Awww, thanks, H! =)

Though the crapper-dad cape comes on when I get home.

Yeah, and I love ya! (just following orders)

Arcane Crapper said...

Oooooh. I am mentioned. Yay! :D

My posts are mouthy, arrogant, sarcastic and often darkly poetic? :|

Arcane Crapper said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
B Ditty said...

awe thanks H, now I'm honored. Or honoured, as it is in english english I believe. Wonder why americans spell so many things different? Guess we rebelled against Britain in language as well. Well I better quit before this comment becomes a blog in itself ;)

Lizza said...

I do love you so. :-)

I don't mind the whinging about the hellhole. You are you and I am so unutterably thankful for and awed by your writing.

Thank you for your very heartwarming (and ego-inflating) words. I feel like floating right now.

But...you gave all these new links that I must visit! Feed my addiction, will you? Entrench me even more into this exquisite quagmire known as Blog, will you? You are deliciously evil. :-D

Oh, well. I love you just the same.

Pinay in Barnsley said...

OMG...

I just read the post before this and I'm a bit confused with my feelings...

So, let's dissect 'em one by one because being in a state of confusion ain't the most productive state to be in...

1st emotion > GUILTY...of not being there soon enough... I know you say you're ok, but *titty lip/ lower lip protrudes* you sure dahlin?
cum'ere...(((tightesthug)))

2nd emotion > BEWILDERMENT ... I'm included in this hallowed list of H?????????? Beejeesus...I'm not wearin water-proof mascara today...sheesshhh... Feel tremendously honoured.

I feel tremendously honoured as it is when you reply to my comments!

3rd emotion > PRIDE for you sistah! You are indeed the most 'cerebral, ass-kickin, no-prisoners-takin' blogger I 'know'.

Check out the comment I made on Lizza's latest post. Looks like we both 'crushed' on one very 'special boy' at some point!

pRicky said...

OMG!!! I wasnt expecting to see my name mentioned.
Gracias...
And umm u r a part of my daily diet of blog reading...
YES!!! Madam H gott the award...
Yipeee!!! :-D

Witness Street said...

Hi H! You're inflating my already humongous ego, don't you know? You are oh so very kind in your description! What's funny is that having just recently discovered your site, I feel even more insecure!

Thank you deeply all the same. It's a pleasure to be mentioned along these amazing writers, and by you no less. Cheers!

H said...

HB: Crapper dad indeed. Bah. Now, now HB I’ll have none of that round here. ;-)

AC: oh no no no. Apologies. Not arrogant. Impertinent. There, I’ve changed it. Well I’m waiting to hear what freaked you out!

Ben: oh no sweetie, I wasn’t referring to your American spellings at all ;-) I’m glad somebody rebelled though. Oh and by that logic each one of my comments must seem like a blog post :-) or several, as the case always seems to be.

Lizza: Sissstttaaaaahhhh. Going by our track record, you’ve introduced me to more writers than the other way round. All in all, I’m glad we connected. ;-) for many many reasons. I have a sneaking suspicion that we were meant to.

M: Oh My God! Boy George? YOU TOO??!!! Man I’m close to tears now. And I’ve never admitted to this openly for fear of being ridiculed. M, you make me feel so wonderfully normal! I could shout it out from roof tops now. This has forged the bond of sisterhood like only Karma Chameleon could.

Pricky: and you’re humble! See. There, that’s what I meant. Now do carry it forth and share with us the blogs you find special.

Witness Lane: Sigh. Mutual admiration society is the most beautiful cooperative concept ever created. ;-) What can I say, but that I’ve found another very solid reason to be distracted.

pRicky said...

umm also u havent been to read me in ages... and the disappointment has happened...
so how does it work?
i mean if i repeat someones name they have to do it again?

H said...

no no no! I most certainly have read you. it's just that I haven't been able to sit and put my thoughts together and write down what i thought of your post on the interaction you've had with the BBC chap and the future of electronic press. [which, by the way, I found extremely interesting, and I particularly mulled over that bit about more happening at pubs in the after hours than at work ;-) ]

Well the rule is that you cannot repeat anyone. which is why i couldn't put prom, migs or Liz on my list.

NanNan said...

I wish I had read your blog before I posted anew----- definately not one of good cheer---- but I am laughing at the irony after reading yours---- now don't you be jumping off any beds/ledges/edges--and I've always thought that Prom bwoy was your mental match-----wink wink --taking liberties as a surrogate blog mama!!! looking out for her dawther's best interests! love and hugs --- Ive just been walking a lot---

The One and Possibly Only said...

Yay, Ben!

No Moss said...

What's up Delhi... good choice.

n.g. said...

I GOT AN AWARD I GOT AN AWARD!!!!!!!!!!!
*breathless*
um, is there a cash prize that i may humbly reject before graciously accepting?

Arcane Crapper said...

Correction noted. :)

Also, on your post "To Jump or Not"...

"Pull your head out of your arse H, and wipe the shit off your eyes."

Wow! If you had your head in your arse and still managed to be a bird and shit on all that you flew past, that must be ONE HELLUVA RADAR!

LMAO! Couldn't resist.

H said...

NanNan: Blawg ma, you’re scandalous as ever! Poor Prom. Him and Jules will be gunning for my blood. I’m not going to need to jump off anything. But I’m sending you an email soon.

Robert: yay Ben 2!

No Moss: :-)

NG: if my opinion is reward enough then, yes dahling… it’s the cash and plaque rolled in one [with honours].

AC: that’s the problem with too much physics – takes the poetry out of poetry. ;-))))

Prometheus said...

Formidable, eh? Hey, that's better'n forbidable, wot? But that's one hell of a review of the Moving (Middle) Finger Writes. Thanks kid.

H said...

forbidable as in with a cold?

Whoyacallinakidaroundhere eh?

I don't see no kids round here. Just one very svelte, chic, chatty monster waiting to serve tea and cakes over a lovely brain-sucking session.

Prometheus said...

Oopsie, sveltechicchatty monster. Prometheus'll have the kadak brun maska and double aamlet with the cutting chai. Prometheus isn't worried about being brain-sucked. That's one surefire way to give monsters a monstrous tummy upset. :P

Arcane Crapper said...

That's poetry in loose motion.

:D

PS: No tea / earl grey (or is it gray?) for me? :|

H said...

Prom: Mala stomach strong aahe.

AC: too runny for me honey.
But about the tea... Of course sweetie! there's cake too. And some brain pate.

B Ditty said...

H, come back, we miss you

Prometheus said...

Goil, nice attempt at Marathi but it should be "mazha" (mine), not "mala" (i want). Marathi lessons aside, this post is gathering cobwebs ya know. Write, girl, write. You got brains to feed.

Lizza said...

Enough of the silence already, pretty please.

I miss your posts.

Arcane Crapper said...

Earth calling H...
Earth calling H...


Houston, we have a problem.
Space shuttle H is not responding.
I repeat, space shuttle H is not responding.

:D

houseband00 said...

Dear soulsis,

You are terribly missed. =(

Your soulbro

The One and Possibly Only said...

H, blog something new, or I'll be disgruntled.

Disgruntled I say!

H said...

beloved boys and girls we're [R-B-o-H & L-B-o-H] going through a bit of a dry patch.

we're also seeking a suitable laxative. please do bear with us.

Arcane Crapper said...

What an irony. I'm looking for the exact opposite. An anti-laxative, if you can call it that. :)