Friday, January 19, 2007

Microbe homicide

A real ringer. This one.

Microbicides are a life defining alternative to condoms in preventing, effectively at that, STIs and HIV.

Except of course that there isn’t yet a microbicide that is effective.

But how encouraging. For people like me. Who are. Seriously. [over-punctuating, you’ll say] interested in this sort of thing. Not because I have lots of unprotected sex with lots of strange exotic men [being Indian and all that intrinsic exotica].

Not because of that. Not really.

But because, I am generally interested in that sort of thing. No not other people’s sex lives. But what they could happen to stumble upon unwittingly in a moment of gay abandon. And why must I keep explaining myself? I’m talking about carefree, casual unprotected fa-la-la-la-la kind of happy sunny bright gay.

Gurgle.

So this is how it works. It lines your bits and parts with microbe-busters. Armies of little-critter-killers. They either form a physical sheath or they boost the vaginal ph levels. Oh and I forgot to add… they’re especially effective for women in developing countries. Giddy wheee! For me for me! Not because we have special chambers… but because our men [bless their gentle exotic souls] are animals. Apparently.

So then boys and girls. Be good. Use a condom. Till such time that an effective microbicide hits your town. And then watch your girlfriend dissolve your microbe thingie, just like that.

21 comments:

B Ditty said...

wow free love is back wooo, I've always wondered what it would be like to live in the 60's

floatin' said...

H,
Where do you do your research?! What, pray tell, do you Google? :)
And, speaking of condoms and Indian men, here's something to tickle your funny bone some more: < http://news.bbc.co.uk/go/em/fr/-/2/hi/south_asia/6161691.stm>

houseband00 said...

Very informative H. =)

Prometheus said...

Umm.. Prometheus wonders if an improper concentration of them microbicide might just turn into Mr.Winkie-cide, eh?

Prometheus the Quality Assurance Guy from Hell.

Arcane Crapper said...

Sigh. What's next?

Genetically mutating humans to render microbial attacks ineffective?

H said...

Ben: Yeah. How cool is that? you’ll be a fine young 50 year old hippy by the time the get around to releasing one that’s useful in the market. And I’ll be… well never mind. Probably dead.

Floatin’: that was a snarking thought-provoking, interesting ‘OMG really?!’ article. Thankyou. I chanced upon it on a UNAIDS site. I think. But let alone Indian men needing smaller condoms… governments are absolutely ignorant, or at least sham ignorance about the need for child condoms for millions of street children who’d like to chose safer sex… if they had the bloody option.

HB: Umm. Glad to be of service to you bro.

Prommmm: welcome back! This marks the return of thought-provoking, quality-assured questions to blarghworld. And H’s much pontificated response is: if the winkie be microbe enough… sure.

AC: Interesting. I really didn’t give it a thought, but quite possible. Scary possible. ~shudder~

The One and Possibly Only said...

Alright, first off H, I gots me a new blog...with all of my old posts, just a different name.

Secondly, lastly, I'm glad to see someone else shares my same interest of unprotected sex, probably for different reasons though.

Arcane Crapper said...

I think Mutation's been tried. WW II times, if I'm correct.

---

Not because we have special chambers… but because our men [bless their gentle exotic souls] are animals. Apparently.

To this, 2 things -

a. WTF?!
b. LOL. :)

Elyaaburrate.

Julia Scissor said...

The erm, well, enlightened post that you had asked for is up.
Good clean PG-13-Guideline adherent, child friendly post. I was trying to write something chick-litt-ish but then realised the genre is not the cup of tea of nerdy minds like mine.

I have tried to fix the template and it loads and navigates great from here but let me know if it still gives you trouble while loading.

H said...

ok. I just posted a very long response here. but it didn't get published and I'm pissed off.
but I'll try again.

Robert: hmmm. interesting. though I'm sure our interests aren't really all that different. but pray tell us, why have you changed your address?

AC: Really? that's interesting. But to try and answer your question... it's a very long explanation that links to man-woman roles in this region [what is now known as 'India'] historically; post-colonial shifts in these roles; and informed choice-making among women which in turn ties in with current HIV statistics among single-partner women. ANd of course the exotification of brown-skin.

But i must say, your "WTF" is really growing on me. charming. it's like a trademark AC calling card " I was here and I WTEFFED you. WHERE-TF were YOU????!" ;-)

Julia: Awww. thank you sweet girl, for honouring my request!

Arcane Crapper said...

:)

PS: Why are brown men exotic? I actually wanted clarification regarding the 'animal' label. Why are we animals?

Another PS: You been listening to SOAD? WhereTF were you, it seems.

H said...

brown men, women, children [read the goa peadophile case? or about what happens on happy bright sunny thai beaches? etc etc]

The animal bit was [obviously lost] sarcasm on the way Indian men are perceived now - though not entirely without reason - for being... well lets just say undemocratic sexists. [ohkayyy I'll admit the thought, particularly its expression, is cryptic. happy?]

And WTF is SOAD eh? :-))))) [couldn't resist that.]

Arcane Crapper said...

Ah. All doubts cleared!

SOAD is a popular alternative metal band. Expanded as System Of A Down. I would encourage you to download this song called B.Y.O.B. Very political. :)

H said...

thankee AC. will do. :-)

pRicky said...

GAY ABANDON??? REALLY??
FOTCL!!!
Good usage of words

The One and Possibly Only said...

Between this blog, and other "presidential foreplay" remarks, I'm starting to question your morality...



In a good way

H said...

Pricky: but what is FOTCL now? however, I shall say thankeeyooo and shut up before I reveal too much about my ineptitude.

Robert: aaaahhhh. I'm... ummm... honoured?

Julia Scissor said...

Prom is a fiercely private person and I was scared he’d box my ears for revealing even that much about ourselves. Thankfully he too was moony-eyed after reading it. He’ll probably return this week and then it’s back to being treated like a 3 year old. :-)

H said...

dare he try somefink like that Julia, he'll have twenty monsters on him. but. this is so sweeeeet! Prom, I'll bet you never thought we'd be saying this about you... soooo sweeeeeeeeeet.

it's the little things said...

What an interesting thought about microbes. However, I think I'll skip the visual of the microbe armies lining my insides!

H said...

maybe I'm just kinky. but I love the thought. ;-) very queen-like, and goddess-of-all-she-can't-survey.