Monday, October 16, 2006

Post mortem jukebox

Okay so I’ve finally come around to completing this one. Tagged by saucy sassy Lizza and the delightfully irreverent Prometheus.

I don’t know where this morbid tag originated, but what the ho! I shall roll up my sleeves and plunge in.

However all ye who enter here, please note that there’s a precondition to attending my funeral.

Everyone must wear something pink. EVEN if you attend from your private haven, via the Ethernet in spirit and all that, and it so happens that you’re one of those who like surfing the net in the buff… don’t worry. You could suck on a pink candy. That’s good enough. But PINK it must be.

Okay. So now that you’ve all agreed in spirit… here goes:

Songs I’d like played at my funeral:

1.) Build me up Buttercup – The Foundations. This is to be performed by all Exes – first to last, in ring formation. Around the pyre.

Suggested costume: fishnet stockings, apron strings, pink cheerleader pom-poms and black patent hoe-pumps. [There’s an extra pair (of the shoes only) in my closet for anyone to borrow].

2.) When the Saints go marching in the Louis Armstrong version. With a slow Russian [or was it German?] march up to the pyre.

PS: don’t be lazy, raise ‘em legs high. I’ll be watching yooooooooo.

3.) Gypsy Eyes – Electric Ladyland, Jimi Hendrix, ‘cause that’s the only way to send off a gypsy girl. The only ONLY way.

Pay your respect people.

4.) Shanti Paath [shanti = hindi for ‘peace’, Paath = hindi for ‘prayer’]
Yeah well ok guys, ‘tisn’t exactly a party-starter, BUT. You do realise that eventually we all have to be some-nebulous-place else, where tanpuras play in CFL lit tunnels and all that... SO, much as I love y’all, and “thanks for all the music, fun and gaiety”, ya da ya da… do me a favour – Just say the damn prayer and wish me luck on my journey, ok?

Come to think of, I should be past caring by then.

[We hope.]


Lizza said...

Marvelous! I'm laughing myself silly right now!

I'll be wearing a pink unmentionable, in your honor. And I really, really feel for your exes. Poor chaps!

NanNan said...

Hilarious--great way to start off what's looking like a cold week--still laughing,and the usual marvelling, still stuck on thinking about those exes in a circle singing buttercup--- pink though??? only for you !!

B diddy said...

I hope you still blog after you die

H said...

Lizza, Nan: Grin. no really. I like them. I'd join them if I could.

Ben: I promise i will. only if you promise to send Hafrank with me.

gem said...

Hi, h! I must be the only person who has never seen Something About Mary, but you are the second person who mentioned it in the last week. The YouTube Buttercup video makes me want to go out and rent it--immediately. I like your blog; I like your choice of funeral music. Can I link ya?

H said...

Hey Gem, there's something about Mary is superb fun. Ben Stiller is the tops. I'd be honoured to be linked! thanks. confession: have visited your blog several times. I really like your friday flash idea.