Wednesday, June 27, 2007

Eight things about Me me me me me me me

Because Pricky asked. And because, I’m feeling so unsure of what to do with me in this very undecidedly stretched moment that this actually seems like a good idea [I’m that into me].

So let’s talk about me. [Yay for you]

1.) I sort of sometimes like me a lot. At moments like these I am invariably overcome with a great tide of goodwill and gratitude for this most fortuitous [which is obviously word-of-the-week in these parts] and everlasting bond that me & I share. And the thought often crosses my mind that, oh my God if I wasn’t me I’d totally crush on me [if I were a bwoy] or be my bestest friend ever. I’ll confess that I even steal a few admiring glances at me in the bathroom. I can’t believe then that me and I are the same person!

2.) I sort of sometimes really dislike me. At moments like these I am wont to think, damn, if I wasn’t me, I’d totally kick my arse. At such times I cannot help but the rue the misfortune of having to spend the rest of my life with me. I also can’t understand then how me and I are the same person.

3.) I dislike shopping. Especially for clothes. And super-especially for me. I get tired. And when I’m tired, I’m not pleasant, because I snap. And I get crotchety. And I snarl. And I frighten away the people standing in queue for the changing room. Sometimes I just drop to the shop floor and throw my limbs about in a gigantic tantrum. The last shop I went to put up a poster. With my picture on it. I am now a local celebrity. I also don’t have many [new] clothes.

4.) I like shopping for shoes. But because I’m so picky, I get totally pissed off halfway through. Rephrase: But because I’m so pissy, I get totally piqued halfway through. [nice inverted something, na?] I don’t have many shoes either.

5.) I’m phenomenally, superlatively impoverished in the motivation department. I cannot be bothered to do ANYTHING. [this list is an act of extreme courage, inspired of course by a deep and abiding sense of self-admiration]

6.) Apparently I talk in my sleep. A lot. However, despite being my spokesperson, I really am in no position to verify this, so I’ll suggest you take it with a pincho’. As I do.

7.) I don’t particularly like the number 8 [but it really isn’t as bad as 4, so I can tolerate it] and I really really like the number 7 [almost as much as Iove 9, though not quite nearly as much] so I’m cutting this list down from 8, to 7.

And now darlings, if you’re smart you’ll never ask me to give you more dirt on me; because though I’m nice and all, really, we’ve had enough about me around here, na?


Lizza said...

Jeez, we can never have enough of you. On with narcissism! :-D

Be sure to tell me once you find something to spice up the motivation department. I need it too.

B Ditty said...

ahh I wish I was as interesting as you :)

H said...

Lizza, to be delectably cliched and all, that's a billion ruppee question. Motivation obviously doesn't come cheap. Snotty little bastard.

Yes yes, the narcissism thing [boy! I had to sneak a look at your spelling to write this VERY ALIEN word]. I'll work on it.

Ben: Ahh, sometimes so do I.

pRicky said...

*Dramatic effect*
Loads of dramatic music

She cut it down to seven

Divine prick of an intervention

Loads of dramatic music and some more...

end of episode... but please join us next week to witness the climax of how H was brutally admonished for reducing her confessions to six rather than eight...

H said...

Soooooo, he’s going to be writing soaps, eh? Just give me your mummy’s telephone number bwoy, wait till I tell her what you’ve been up to at that elite ‘journalism’ course. The horror!

I s’pose it’s all good as long as ‘punsihed’ does NOT mean pounce-a’her-head. Because then sweetie two verrrry nasty nasties up here are going to have a gala-gay bloodbath.

Oooh and shame on your counting fingers, Pricky. There’re seven revelations. Not six.

There, now turn around, Us at Shout feel obliged offer you a free spanking.

houseband00 said...

It's absolutely cool to read a me-me from you-you, H. =)

Witness Street said...

Goodness. Items 1, 2 and 3 applies to me, too.

On a side note: Have you ever read any titles by Upamanyu Chatterjee? I am presently reading the coming-of-age "English, August", and I am now head over heels in love with India. (That would be my item 4.)


H said...

HB, awww. What a sweetie! You’re always welcome for more ;-)

Migs, come here and take a big fat hug first! I’m so teary eyed pleased that you like English August… it has, at one point, been my bible. For some strange reason, it gave me a lot of courage to face the world at 19. It is probably one of the only books [okay one of the very very few books] that I have read many many times over. I would pick random bits of my very tattered copy on a bad day and just end up feeling better, no matter which part I read. I still say ‘Piss for the Bengali’ when my aunt serves fried fish [My uncle’s Bengali]. And I avoid green chutney. And I was so insanely in love with Agastya, that I even went ahead and had a big massive crush on the actor who plays him in the film version. [blechhhhh].

I really am very, very happy about this. Thank you for telling me.

pRicky said...

Ok Ok!!!
That telling the mom is under the belt street assault...
and and I knew you will catch on to the six count thing...
See technically you used the seventh point to nullify a need for the eight one and it was hardly a fact about you cause well you were trying to wriggle out of writing the eight one and because of which you never wrote the seventh one...
and hence My dear extremely cool H you are going to have to face the consequence and I am going to let lose my pricking unabated on the LOH AND ROH and in the process have a fun time at the free spanking you will give yourself in a special event for self servicing of spanking thy own self...
And here I bow with utter grace of one whos point can no further be wrestled with...
Extra dramatic music

Prude said...

ha ha ha I don't have many new clothes either...but tons of old ones!!!

I agree with pRicky..we have very deviously been denied 2 points...unfair UNFAIR!!

But I do think points 1 and 2 tell us loads about you! You're made of both good n bad stuff!! ;D

Arcane Crapper said...

But why don't you like the number 8?

I think it's a good question. Me, me, and me agree with me.

Anjali Sinha said...

well then missy H ..ah the numbers and yes ofcourse shopping for clothes can be traumatic when decision over measily piece of cloth can take several days!

H said...

Pricky, I can't decide whether to be more hurt about the fact that you comletely disregarded the fact that point number seven reveals something about me, or that you actually expected that i would take back a gift of affection and use it for myself [the FREE SPANKING].

Prude: hahahahaha, somehow so do I [have lots of old clothes]. But refer to my response to Pricky for point number 2 in your response ... and do let Us at Shout offer you a spanking too. ;-)

AC: such a merry gathering. Ask not of me why I dislike 8, ask of 8 why 8 is so annoying.

Anjie: Seeking perfection in the tiniest detail is the difference between the evolved and the evolved-nots. No doubt we are charging full throttle towards early Salvation.

pRicky said...

oh darn!!!
you got me there...
erm erm
let me offer you a deal you wouldnt refuse, aye?

Witness Street said...


There's a film version? Poor me. Had no idea.

Glad we have a common book to love!

Arcane Crapper said...

@8: Why are you so annoying?

H said...

pricky, a deal? hmmm.

Migs, Glad am I too. yes. there is a film and it isn't terribly great. so no, you haven't missed out on anything. :-)

AC, I take this opportunity to hijack H's blog, because I'm so unscrupulous and pile-onish that it doesn't matter that H doesn't like me, or the fact that I'm commenting here, to say nothing in particular. there. I wonder why that overrated-half-brained cow has a problem with me?! anyhoo, thank you for calling upon me. it's such a giddy pleasure to be addressed by anybody. especially a crapper.
take care then. toodles. *8 [isn't it fantastic that if you sh[a]ift me, I become a KISS!]