Monday, January 18, 2010


As a writer, increasingly, because with practice comes profusion, you see merit in giving everything a slogan.

Including people.

Especially people.

M [not THE M-monumental, but our writer M – yes we have a writer now, for a brief pause to my daily insanity] was very pleased with his. It was my welcoming gift to him.

It goes: Because one ego’s not enough.

And though this happened several months ago, even now when I ask him why he is the way he is, he responds with less gratitude, more pride and no shame: because you said so yourself.

Today, in an act of considerable generosity, struck by sudden inspiration no doubt, M composed mine. Just as I was breezing past him, on my way to the ladies’ let, because that’s when most of our significant conversations happen, when I’m breezing past him to let.

I said, breezing by, when you eat five cheese pasta with bacon, the guilt will kill you before the cheese does. He said, it’s five cheese pasta with bacon. Guilt has no place between a man and his five cheese pasta with bacon. I said you’ve got to be kidding. He said why? I said BECAUSE. He said I’ve got it.
It goes: I’m lady H. Fark off.


Ben Ditty said...

Awe, so I take it you don't want to enjoy a five cheese bacon pasta with me then ;)

H said...

Aw no. of course I want to! But don't complain if I bitch about it later.

Ben Ditty said...

awe, I won't :)

camerawali said...

Hmm.. I can see that. Lady H in an armchair, with nose in the air, arms on arms rests, legs crossed with the right foot a dangling..

The Darkling Thrush said...

Hehehe, mind was still in the previous post while reading this. And was going to suggest Ladies' Lat instead of 'Let.

Did you ever wonder as a child, about what kind of moron it took to misspell Toilet as To-Let on the signs on all those empty office-spaces?

(I also, at one point, reasoned it probably was too obscene to fully say Toilet, so they said To hyphen Let. Then went to the theory of Oh, To-Let as in, the act of relieving. And finally, I went to the dictionary.)