Thursday, April 30, 2009

Cut Cut

What is the point in writing fast and meeting deadlines when your writing lacks soul?

I’m pretending I know all about soul. Mostly I don’t.

But criticism is a God-given talent. And God, bless Her soul, gave everyone enough by which to live, love and prevail.

But I’m feeling defeated. And punctured. And tired. And weepy. [There’s got to be a fifth thing I’m feeling. There is. But it’s unrelated. It’s gorgeous. It’s like scaling mountains and crossing seas and turning cartwheels and winging bird flights and singing to a valley of flowers and honeybees.] But back to this. This horrid sense of being trapped.

I’m so afraid to take the plunge. To jump in and sully my fingers with the mess of mauling her words. One by one by one. It’s as M said “some people don’t like ever being seen as the bad guy. Even if it means sacrificing things bigger than themselves for it”. I am a selfish bastard like that. Selfish and weak.

This is where I stick out my lower lip, creep around on all fours, hold up sad-faced emoticons on eff-b and soak in your pity. Golum I am.

I wish I were Lady Macbeth. I’d edit ruthlessly.

***
Maybe I am. I just did. Liberation. Lalala.

8 comments:

Ben Ditty said...

Awe, at least you did it and it shows volumes about how great a person you are for you to care so much :)

H said...

Ben! hahaha. Far from it. :-D

lost said...

Cut mercilessly H.
It is all pardonable unless you send back red comment boxes about bad use of preposition to the writer

Lizza said...

Out, out, damned spot! Edit away, H. I'm having a delicious time speculating on the fifth emotion.

H said...

Lost, hahahahaha. Had a good long laugh at your response. :-D

Lizza, mhmmm. :-D You always notice, hanh? Soul sis.

The Wandering Minstrel said...

Hey, I found u on prude's blog and i love this place. I have been reading way too much meaningful stuff (u know, work work, elections, surveys yada yada yada)...its so nice to read complete gibberish :) i am adding u. hope that's ok. if not, write back, will tk u off my blogroll :)

H said...

Dear Wandering Minstrel, welcome here. Can't help but be charmed by how you have, at once, managed to both adore and dismiss this, here, as "utter gibberish". :-)

Am delighted at being added to your blogroll. Thanks.

Prude said...

Now I really feel evil. I can never edit what I write...it's almost an unwritten agreement between myself and my writer's soul to write and then walk away without editing. But when it comes to someone elese's work...oh I'm the Devil herself and I don't wear prada...i carry a big eraser and bottle of whitener and a red pen that I streak and laugh my internal evil leaugh...

:-(