Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Chat

This is what a cheap-arse resorts to when:

1.) Inspiration is abundantly absent.
or
2.) She’s suffering from a debilitating bout of feeling slighted.

As will be evident, regardless of circumstances, it is deplorable and utterly juvenile. However, indulge me, for once.

Presenting: My conversation with Phish, who is a PROFESSIONAL WRITER [and I’m NOT]

Phish: So
Aren’t u missing me at all?
me: Umm. Are you missing me? When you're NOT swimming and all...
Phish: maybe
me: Well yes. A distant memory of meeting you once. fond, nonetheless.
Phish: i came FOUR times
me: damn. HOW could I forget in the 50 odd times I've been...
But. FYI [hooow I love this] the pool has been LOVELY in the last few days with this crazy weather.
Phish: SHOO
me: Btw, tell me... is this very pretentious?...because I really felt it: swimming in the rain is like breathing mud dreams...
tell me. honestly.
Phish: it’s a lovely phrase
ive swum in d sea in d rain and THATS EXACTLY WOT IT WAS
me: well someone said it sounded like it was out of a reader's digest.
Phish: uh NO
me: I thought as much.
Phish: they would’ve said "swimming in the rain is the highest form of communion with nature".
or summin like that
me: no they would've said "swimming in the rain is ... WAH WAH WAH".
because 'they' are that eloquent.
Phish: that's Delhi Times

Clearly, by the end I was still talking about someone, Phish wasn’t. *Sigh*.

9 comments:

Ben Ditty said...

hmm my other comment didn't go through. But..ever play with any pool toys, like beach balls or fun noodles? :)

NanNan said...

Obviousy you weren't swimming with angels today!!

H said...

I play with nothing so childish, Ben darling. My toys are all rather… ahem… adult. Spitball-slingers for bratty children and wedgie-springers for men who wear too-tiny-trunks [I just outdid m’self here with this tyrant of an allit.]

Nanannnnnnnn. Oh but the water was DELICIOUS. My angel never appeared again, btw. :-(

Ben Ditty said...

just the right amount of allit actually :p

Ben Ditty said...

you got me going on it too...my latest blog post title is quite alliterative

H said...

O Ben!
O H!
O Johnny!

Anonymous said...

That was a strangely scintillating conversation.

Hey, I like swimming in the ocean in the rain. Floating there with my upturned face getting lovelyly battered by raindrops.

Oh, and teach me how to inflict wedgie-springers on too-tiny-trunks-clad men, will you?

Anonymous said...

damn, yeah. I remember swimming in the rain. it's a singular experience. especially if you're alone in the pool.
imagination is a scary thing, especially when you're young and have just been reading up on sea monsters.

H said...

Liz, that sounds diiiiiiiiivine! When I come avisiting to the 7107 islands, I hope it rains. Hahaha. It's complicated. I need a volunteer for the demo. hahahahahahahahaha.

Nonsense bwoy! Doooooooooooood! damn, don't even start with that. My bastard older cousin told me about this film in which piranhas come swarming through pool ducts and ravage an unwary swimmer in tiny icksome itty bites. I was five. I bet he doesn't even remember anymore. Bastard. But now that I'm older, less impressionale and fearless again, I don't show the panic. I wait till someone else is with me at the deep end to pause and enjoy the water.